Am I so stupid that it took me so many years to realise what's actually happening?

Last night my tears rolled off the cheeks out of no particular reason, I am simply unhappy.

Is it the Japanese drama LAST FRIENDS so powerful that I was struck?
I didn't know and I know I'll never know.

I simply went over my life and I realised why I have been living unhappily
and it's also the very first time I have wanted to talk about it.

But to whom?

YOU.
I know I want to talk to you.
I don't know if I can or not though.
YOU are the only one I want to talk to.
I don't care a tinker's damn.